It's Time For This Behaviour To Be Called Out

 So, the world is upside down for a lot of people right now, and there are a lot of things happening all over the world. In our own worlds here, we are seeing huge changes both in the rescue and in the private lives of our Board members. Of course, what rescue wouldn't be complete without someone going entirely off the rails at least annually, right? 

Well, this time we will share the entirety of the exchange we had with our periodic rail greaser. This time it is one Sandy Schedlosky, who, meaning well, took a kitten who needs medical care to the emergency vet. This is a wonderful act of care, and we love when people reach out to help as much as they can. Yesterday, 2 of our Board members spent the day dealing with some pretty heavy stuff, and when the message came that there was an injured kitten, one of them had a bit of a cry over the rescue's current financial position because it meant we couldn't help out financially. Here's how the conversation played out.

Now, these screen shots are trimmed so that they go in proper order and, with the exception of the last one, reduce the amount of reading the same thing over again for the reader. 

And here's the thing. We wouldn't be posting this today but Sandy decided that rather than simmering down and rereading the parts where she was told; 

• we are in the middle of a reset
• we cannot do any intakes right now
• if we said yes, it would be irresponsible on our part (verbatim was "whether we would be able to properly support him and that isn't fair at all")
• We would be happy to set her up with supplies in the meantime (this is not just a "can of food" as Ms. Shedlosky so wonderfully put it in her attempt to minimise us offering the help that we are capable of at this time. The gratitude was palpable, I tell you.)
• funds are non-existent (what we did not tell her because quite frankly she has no reason to know is that we are handling 3 spays, a mastectomy, and a few other projects we are trying to get off the ground. And right now the rescue has just a little over $100 in the account.)
• we have to move our current adoptables before we can do anything at all. 
• it was offered to her that we would reach out to other rescues to see if they could help.

As you can see, Sandy was ever so gracious in her response, telling us that she understood and that it was unfortunate that we were unable to assist. She even offered to lend help to us or another rescue so that it wasn't such a struggle! She kindly thanked us for our offer of food, litter, litter box, toys, etc... that come with having a cat in the house but declined, saying she didn't want to burden our already taxed organisation.

Just kidding. She posted a scathing review on google, thinking we wouldn't respond! And you know, a lot of rescues won't, because a lot of rescues don't want to upset people or rock the boat. We are a little different here though. You see, we value human beings just as much as we value animals. We will go to the mat for either one, and sometimes that means we show much more compassion for situations which would enrage others, but sometimes it means calling people out when they are acting like assholes. In this case, going to the mat for the kitten meant saying that we are unable to help with his emergency care bill, but offering what we could for the care he needed for the time he was in her care. And this post isn't about going to the mat for the person Sandy talked to, she has a pretty thick skin. It's about going to the mat for the rescue community as a whole.

Rescue workers are stretched. It's what we do. Very few of us get paid (in fact, none of the ones in our rescue take a salary at all.) so what we do, we do out of passion, and out of compassion. Yet the general public seems to believe that we are invincible and have bottomless pockets. That we don't feel those little darts thrown at us every time we express grief for losing a hard case (why didn't you do x? Well, you can't save them all.), or when we have to say no to an intake or when we have to explain to a person why their husbandry is making their companion sick. It's like being pecked to death by a lazy duck. And you know, we grin and bear it most of the time.

There is not a single person who got into animal rescue because they wanted to do nothing. There is not a single person who does rescue who feels good about having to say "I'm so sorry, we are at capacity. Not even one more." And very few of us can do so and go to bed without crying a little bit because we don't know what the fate of that little one would be. Because we all wish we had infinite funds and infinite space and infinite time to help every single struggling soul out there. And I am not complaining. No, this is not a complaint at all because another thing about rescuers is that rescuing them is what keeps us going. It's what makes the world a little better.

So I'm not posting this because Sandy is a meanie. I make no judgments as to the overall character of Sandy, despite her behaviour being entitled, childish, and petty. Who knows, maybe this is a one-off (although given that she had already been hung up on by another rescue prior to contacting us...) I'm posting this because there are thousands of Sandys out there, who would attempt to browbeat a rescue into taking in more than they can, and then strut about, bleating about how they saved that poor little kitten as though she had done anything more than a quick drive to a vet and some snotty messages. And there are thousands of rescuers who will get these messages from the Sandys of the world and say nothing. They would take the character assasinations, the pettiness, the snarling, and the holier-than-thou declarations of the Sandys and they would put it in their already heavy rucksack of shitty comments from ignorant people, and say nothing, and just add it to the load. 

That's not how we work here. And maybe it isn't as nice as the image of rescue is supposed to be. Most rescues have a face of cute, and smiles, and happiness. We don't. We do the shit that needs doing because it needs doing. We are, in contrast to most other rescues out there, pretty unfiltered about the truth of it all, the including how the same people who consider themselves saviours to animals will just as quickly (and gleefully) abuse another human being. That doesn't make us better and hell, maybe it is part of why we aren't seen as easily as others. But it's who we are.

So next time you decide you want to be a Sandy, I want you to remember the motto of our rescue. Well. The whole motto of the rescue. It's isn't just "do all things with kindness..."

Do you know that the ellipsis is there for?

Settling A New Cat Into Your Home

Congratulations! You've added a new feline companion to your home. Be prepared, your life is about to become so much more interesting in so many ways. Cats are wonderfully diverse creatures, with different personality traits, moods, quirks, and routines. The wonderful thing about them is that, despite popular opinion, cats can be taught. 

William and Maggie took to each other like peanut butter and jam.

So you've brought your kitty in and they're a little skittish. They're going to need some time to adjust. Wherever they were before landing in your life is what they know, and the new smells, people, and surroundings are going to put them off their game a little bit. They're going to hide for a little while (possibly a week or two!), maybe even be off their food for a day or two. That's okay, place some food and water close to their hiding spot so that they at least meet those basic needs. They're likely doing so when you're out of the house or sleeping, but it's no fun to go hours without water when you're thirsty, and cats can be stubborn. 

Audrey walked into our home like she owned it
and promptly made herself the queen,
much to the chagrin of George and Gracie. 

If they aren't the only animal in the home, they're also going to need time to adjust to the new friend as well. This can be a little scary for everyone involved because we aren't so sure if there will be fights or if they'll hit it off immediately. Chances are that there will be some vocalization, perhaps some poofing up of kitties, but it's not a guarantee that there will be fighting. Some people recommend keeping a barrier between a new cat and existing resident animals, and we agree with that to an extent. Our usual method of introduction of a healthy cat to a new home with resident animals is to allow open, supervised visitation between them, keeping a watchful eye over the interactions to ensure that they aren't violent. Hissing and growling is normal, and we recommend allowing that type of interaction, but ensure that there is an adult human close by to intercept if there is going to be a physical confrontation. Give treats (but not too many!) when you see that they are all sharing space without confrontation, and praise them all equally.

If there are times when there won't be an adult human present to supervise, or if the companion animals are having a hard time adjusting, then you'll want to do the following;

1. Set up a room with a door for the new cat. Include food, water, toys, litter, and other sources of stimulation for the kitty. You'll also want to set something up for you to be able to spend time comfortably in there as well, because kitty is also going to have to get to know you as well.
2. Put a blanket where kitty is likely to sleep. Also put a similar blanket where your existing companion animals sleep. You're going to swap these back and forth between animals every 2 days for a while, to get them used to the scent of the other.
3. Feed all companion animals close to the door of the room. Not immediately at the door, but close enough that they can sense each other but know that there is that safety of a barrier and some space.
4. Go in and spend time with the new companion animal. Be it homework, or just doomscrolling (because let's be honest, nobody "surfs the net" anymore, we all doomscroll social media now), your quiet presence in the room will help settle your new friend. Bonus if kitty comes up for snuggles, because you'll be leaving the room smelling like the new kitty, and you can go immediately to your established companion and show some affection while smelling like the new kid.
5. Swap the aforementioned blankets between the animals to help them associate the smell of the new companion with sleep. Swap them every 2 or 3 days to help move things along.
6. Eventually, you'll want to start encouraging face-to-face time with the animals in the home. Do so slowly, heeding all of the warnings from prior to this list. Eventually, you'll be able to just let everyone free roam in the home without worrying.

We have also found that Feliway plug in diffusers help immensely, as well as Royal Canin Calm food (available through your vet). There are some "homeopathic remedies" out there for cats, but few of them have actually proven to us to be effective and many of them are quite fragrant. We use LucyLoo #hashtags essential oil blend in our main foster home because it's safe, non-offensive, and actually seems to help our animals when they decide to go all West Side Story on us. It's available exclusively through Hashbrowns Homestead Supplies in Red Deer, Alberta. Please refer to our post about cats and essential oils before going ahead and using oils with cats in the home.

Other methods we have found help the process are;

• brush the new kitty, and without removing the hair from the brush, brush your existing companion animals with the same brush to transfer scents between them
• put one of your dirty shirts in with the new kitty
• stuffies that can be swapped between the animals
• spending time around your new kitty without fussing if the cat is somewhat skittish toward you. If you go into their space and just spend time being there without being a force, they will become curious and come see you for affection. BUT...
• some cats respond to what we call "forcible affection". That's something you will want to ask the foster family about. This is exactly what it sounds like; scooping kitty up and snuggling them whether they are game or not. Again, ask the foster family about this and if you or they aren't sure, err on the side of respectful distance instead

Again, every cat is different, and they can either waltz in like they already own the place or they will take a few weeks to get settled enough to snuggle. You absolutely need to practice patience. It doesn't matter if the 6 cats you had before settled in like nothing, this 7th bebby might be the challenge who ends up being worth it. 

That said, some cats are just not meant to live with other animals. We had a lovely little girl named Harlow who had her umpteenth litter of kittens while in our care (she was on the street prior to that) and after her babies were weaned, she wanted nothing to do with any other cat. No matter what we did, she just was not interested in having any other animal friends so she had to go live with a lovely lady who has no other companion animals. She is thriving there and is treated like the queen she is.

Miss Harlow was not having any of this "friends" business.
We know that some kitties just don't want to do it, so we 
respect that and placed her so she will be the only cat.

What are other ways you have helped new kitties settle in to your home?